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Doldrums.

I have to admit that today I am in the doldrums. I am fed up with limping about with a boot on my leg. It’s been seven weeks since I broke my Achilles tendon. I haven’t been sleeping well so I am tired. I can’t drive and have to keep phoning round begging lifts. Publishing my books has stalled again. After the recent ‘up’ of getting proofs back from proof readers, I contacted my publisher only to find they had misread an earlier email. The reprint of last year’s booklet for the ACW Yeovil Group had not been started and there would be a further two week delay. Therefore my books would be delayed by two weeks beyond that. I really hope the books come out before Christmas (and that you all buy them) but I can’t count on it. I am trapped in the house with winter grey outside, fiddling about trying to do constructive things that won’t stress either my bad leg or my feeble brain too much! Bring back summer!

So how should we escape these all too common kinds of depressed lethargy? Let me say at once that some people need to see a doctor or counsellor. I have received counselling, both Christian and secular, and have taken anti-depressants. All that has helped in the longer term. But what do I do TODAY, what can anyone do today, if we are feeling a bit down? I recall a day when I felt as if I were in a particularly deep, black pit. I pushed myself to DO SOMETHING. I put seed into the bird feeder in the garden. That small victory encouraged me to do some other small thing and I climbed the ladder to a reasonably normal day. Today I did two loads of washing before lunch. I am only grey because of physical tiredness so I have had a rest, listening to my favourite radio station. Often this sends me to sleep! It is important to keep the work/rest/ relaxation balance. Fresh air and exercise always blow away the cobwebs. As I can’t walk the dog I borrow from an elderly lady, I went up the garden and found some dead sticks. If I tie them together, trapping dog treats inside the bundle, she (the dog, not the elderly lady) will have a great time chewing the sticks and breaking the string to get the treats out. An hour of non-fattening pleasure for us both.

I prioritise my life. Of course, God comes first. I have to thank my wife, who is far more disciplined and organised (and irritating) than I am for the daily habit of prayer and Bible reading, using some helpful notes. Then I need to love my neighbour and that starts at home. Love isn’t always mushy, it can be hard work, as Deirdre and I both know. As a Chronic Fatigue invalid, she wanted me to work at Christmas things like revising our mailing list when I was obsessed with correcting my books and getting them the printers. We both need to be patient and forgiving on a daily basis.

Next come household chores. Someone has to make sure there’s food in the house, that the toilet rolls are renewed and that the junk mail doesn’t build up to waist high just inside the front door. Every little act is victory against the entropy of the universe. Do a little every day, don’t do too much on any day. Most things will wait, at least for a while.

Finally there is the wider world to consider. I feel a strong call to spread the Gospel and wish I could do more. My books and 90% of my blog express this. The ‘do something when you’re in the doldrums’ philosophy made me sit down, despite lack of inspiration, and get writing. This is the result. I hope it helps someone. I am also planning the Messy Café Church for Sunday coming. I have been warned that most of the families with children won’t be attending this week (how depressing) so I am editing and revising my plan. I was asked if we should cancel and I chose not to. For a small chapel, cancelling services is a slippery slope.

Finally comes life balance. Not that it’s last. It is a continual overview. Too much of anything makes Ian a dull boy. I don’t want to become a prayer hermit, a household slave or a overcommitted preacher.

I think it’s time to have a cuppa and put on a DVD.

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